Christoblog

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over lousy fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average of the world’s great civilizations before they decline has been 200 years. These nations have progressed in this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again to bondage.”

–inappropriately attributed to Alexander Fraser Tytler

Update: In case you have some time, and like to know stuff, here is a nice bit of research on the above “quote” - which appears to be a compilation of stuff anonymous people said at some point in the history of this universe.  Thanks to Sisbol6.

But this has just not been the way to go about going to the playoffs.  Of course, St. Louis proved that once you’re in anything can happen…

Still, both the Twins and Sox were just not winning these last few weeks, so neither seemed worthy of the playoffs.  Then the Twins swept the Sox to take the division lead, and I thought, well, they earned it, and good for them.

So what happens?  Both teams go on to lose their season ending series’s to teams that had nothing for which to play (pride, Christobol, what about pride?  these are people who spend most of their time thinking up ways to put icy hot in someone’s jock, when they’re not too busy getting trainers to inject “ibuprofin” into their buttocks.  so yeah, I guess pride), forcing the Sox to make up a game against Detroit that had been rained out, so that they could force a one game playoff with the Twins tonight.

Sox won, and now they go play the feel-good story of the year, Tampa, who has, as I’ve heard reported everywhere, a payroll of eleventy cents.  Don’t you have to root for Tampa?

No.  No you don’t.  Screw them.

Wow, who would have thought they’d show a spine?  Granted, it may be just fear of facing the voting taxpayers who have told them “NO!” so overwhelmingly, but that’s not so bad either.

Here’s a good article arguing against the knee-jerk $700 billion “solution”.

Hey, every American’s share of the bail out comes to $2,293.12 (before interest).  It makes you want to sing, right?  Good.  The louder you sing along, the better I’ll sound.

To you I’m just a child, my life looks oh so simple

And the ways of this great world, so strange and funny

So I must look to great men, to manage that machine

That turns out all those bails of precious money

 

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money!

From that money machine

Now you can finance your lifestyle by it, look at your grandkids and try to deny it

You can bring your enemies to their knees

Unless they own your debt, somebody say:  The Chinese

We need a strong hit from the money machine, to keep us on top, on top of the world

A strong hit baby from that money machine.  Keep me on top, on top of the world.

 

Oh buy that bad debt from Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, and all of Wall Street

Credit’s pulled up lame, now it’s time for you to bear the pain

Let me just say it plain, keep your fives and send me tens

I want a strong hit from the money machine.  Set me up top, on top of the world

Gimme a strong hit from the money machine.  Keep me up top, on top of the world.

 

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, ha ha ha ha ha!

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money!

Gimme that dough, gimme that dough, gimme that dough, gimme that dough

 

Been living on the fat of industry so long.  Please, Mr. Paulson, don’t you do me wrong

Send me that money, so I don’t have to cry no more

Make it interest free, nobody has to know

I need a strong hit from the money machine.  Keep me on top,  on top of the world

Strong hit, babe, from that money machine.  Keep me on top, on top of the world.

 

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money!

Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money!

 

Isn’t now when the N.S.F.B.C.A.I. (National Secret Federal Boogie Club Action International) should spring into action (albeit secretly) and use the trillions they hoarded during the Granada invasion to funnel money to people like Warren Buffet, who will pretend to use his own funds to invest in a troubled market?

Oh, they already started?

Well, nevermind.  And don’t tell the NSyadda that I mentioned them.

So, we’re gonna have a $700 billion bail out, apparently.

We’re in the midst of the most expensive presidential race ever (Obama has spent $368 million, McCain $192 million).  According to Opensecrets, candidates have raised over $1 billion for the first time ever.

In other words, the bailout could fund presidential elections until November, 4809.

That’s a lot of smear ads.

Maybe giving the money to corrupt / incompetent bankers isn’t such a bad idea after all.

Update:  Seriously, though, here’s a good article on the bail out.

Eat your heart out!

After a week of consultation with leading accountants, the executives at Christoblog have come to the conclusion that a large infusion of free money from the government would be a good thing to have happen, bank balance-wise.

“The fact that we don’t really generate any income,” said Vernon Pranceworthy, VP of Imported Beer Consumption, “creates an imbalance in our general ledger, specifically related to the entries that would make us fiscally viable.”

“Our underlying business metrics are sound,” added Board Chairman and potato chip afficianado Carl Chancefeathers, III.  “There can be no question over the value of infrequent posts without any coherent theme.  Unless by ‘value’ you tend to mean anything having to do with money or things that could be traded for money.”

The blog intends to use the $4 trillion for:  “A much needed upgrade of the general infrastructure, some improved refreshment delivery capabilities, and a stabalization of the dancers’ platform.  But mostly it will help stave off a hostile takeover from other blogs that don’t have $4 trillion.”

The hubbub over Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment is depressing.

In case anyone had any doubt, we are now fully engaged in the “winning is more important than honor” phase that every election inevitably enters (unless it was there from the start).

“Lipstick on a pig” is a great phrase, packing two insults into just a few words.  “Not only is your idea a pig,” it says, “but your attempt to present it as anything other is as transparent as putting lipstick on a pig.”

Wham!  I like it.

McCain likes it too.  He used it to describe Hillary’s healthcare plan.

But let’s not pretend we’re adults, or that we’re trying to win the Presidency, and not a 6th grade  popularity contest.  Instead, let’s parse one another’s words and fake indignation in the hopes of juking enough Americans into voting for us that we can ascend the throne.

Ugh.

Wouldn’t it be cool if a candidate cared more about getting an A+ from factcheck.org than they did about winning?  Someone so dedicated to truth that they would rather lose than engage in distortion and deception?  A person who wanted to win by the strength of their ideas, conviction, and ability to convince Americans to follow them, instead of one willing to win by simply portraying their opponent as worse?

Man, this cold medicine is really getting to me.