If the CIA executed a plot to hit Kim Jong II in the face with an apple pie on the 4th of July?
We should just do that everytime they test a missile. We could announce we’re testing another pie.
Madoff is being sentenced to 150 years in prison and the judge is seeking $170 BILLION in assets. Crikey, that’s a bunch.
Let’s just imagine that Madoff could live 150 more years. If he worked full time for all those 150 years, and never took a vacation (Spring Break in Cell Block 3?), he’d need to earn $544,871.79 per hour in order to make $170 billion.
Update: Just for funsies, if you got a raise to $545K per hour, how many more hours would you work?
I’m a bit puzzled whenever debate over how to handle obese people arises, whether it’s about airlines, trains, amusement parks, or skydiving into jello clinics.
Does it matter, policy wise, whether a person is genetically heavy or heavy by lifestyle choice? Can one really try to take that into account?
“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to buy a second seat, because this video clearly shows you sucking down a couple cheeseburgers.”
“But…I have a note from a thyroid specialist!”
It doesn’t matter. You either fit through a turnstyle or don’t, fit into a seat or don’t, etc. It doesn’t matter why, does it?
Why should the law get involved? Seems like the market will work this out. With Americans getting heavier by the minute (or by the cheeseburger), companies will cater to the heavier market by offering larger seats, etc, as soon as it is profitable to do so.
That said, I’m all for people taking a chill pill. I’ve been on many flights where my neighbor spilled over into my seat space. It’s not my preference, but it didn’t kill me, either. Life is better when we accommodate one another. If that large person was your mother, chances are you wouldn’t be firing an angry email off to the airline, right?
By the way, I’m not insulting your mother. I’m just saying she’s a big fatty-patty-two-by-four, can’t fit through the kitchen door.
Update: Here’s an idea: How about if really small people are given the opportunity to sell some of their space that they’re not using? Kind of like the carbon-offsets market?
Weren’t we?
Anyway, there’s a commercial, perhaps for beer, or a product you rub on something. Anyway, it says that something was “prophesized”. But the word is “prophesied”.
So, they probably knew that, right? And then they thought someone would blog about it and they would get free publicity that way.
Or else they’re stupid.
Also, just fyi, I’ve decided that whenever I do enter the market for insurance sold by cartoon characters, I am going to award my business to whichever one is sexiest. It just makes sense.
I would like teens to know that there are body perfume products out there that can apparently turn you into chocoloate, at which point you will be eaten alive and be unable to do anything but smile like a moron.
These appear to have died out before my time, and now their inventor has followed them to the great coin operated pleasure center in the sky.
May miss wine-spritzer pong tournament.
This is why you just shouldn’t age. Ten years ago, well, okay, thirty years ago…what? Right, fifty years ago she would have just popped right back up with nary a scratch. Hip replacement can’t be far off.
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In other news, from the stuff you don’t want to hear during your flight department:
“Are there any doctors on board?”
“Okay then, are there any pilots?”
Okay - thanks for the heads up on comment issues. Wordpress decided to update itself so that I’d be protected from anyone commenting I guess.
That should be fixed now. Just leave a comment if it’s not letting you comment, and I’ll get Judi right on that.
After I unfire her.
“I want to commit a crime, but I want to make sure the not-guilty by reason of insanity defense works for me.”
Can beat the Red Wings in this weekend’s professional sports athlete showcase contest thingy. I think the key will be scoring goal unit baskets.
Go. Go team go!